And another thing: My mom has breast cancer #breastcancer #doublemastectomy #mammogram

I wasn’t trying to compete with my mom when I had Denton the Stenton placed on Tuesday, because she would win: She had a double mastectomy.

My mom told me at the beginning of this year that she has breast cancer. My mom, who regularly consumes salad, fruits and veggies, and usually weighs less than me — who does water aerobics and walks a golf course 3x/week, and keeps her brain sharp as a professional card player — has breast cancer.

What the fuck?!?!?

It makes no sense to me that my otherwise healthy and fit mom has freaking cancer.

Luckily my mom doesn’t care about all the feelings and her response was, “Shit happens. I’ll be fine.”

20130218-142853.jpg (credit:

And she’s fine, albeit breastless. She had some drama immediately after the surgery — double mast plus expanders for an eventual reconstruction — a nasty reaction to the anesthesia had her puking the first night. After that she was okay. Her chest was sore, but within four days she could lift one arm, and now she can lift both. She’s off the hardcore painkillers. She’s happily ensconced on a recliner with Audible on her iPad, grateful not just for the flowers but for the CHOCOLATES people sent with get-well notes.


The cancer was discovered after a routine mammogram. Please get one!

Post operatively my mom learned the tumors had clean/clear margins and her lymph nodes are cancer-free. She might not even need radiation!

Here we are FaceTime ing



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