Monday I was doing my usual post-weekend-cleanup, cooking shepherd’s pie, and trying not to lose my mind via my children when suddenly
PAIN. STABBING PAIN. STABBING PAIN IN MY LOWER RIGHT ABDOMEN. STABBING PAIN IN MY LOWER RIGHT ABDOMEN THAT RADIATED TO MY BACK.
It just came out of NOWHERE, and suddenly it was just THERE and NOTHING WOULD STOP IT and it was HORRIBLE!
I wanted to jump in my car and drive straight to the ER, because I thought I had appendicitis. I called My Chemical Romance to tell him, but he suggested I call my regular doctor first. Luckily I could be seen within an hour.
My Facebook crowdsourcing for a diagnosis responses were: kidney stone, ovarian cyst, appendicitis and — from my friend who is a veterinarian — PROBABLY JUST GAS.
And yes, I am sometimes prone to hyperbole, so a small part of me thought, well maybe it really is just gas and I’m a wimp.
Based on my pain symptoms and the blood in my urine, my doctor diagnosed a kidney stone. He called ahead to the ER to let them know I was coming.Then he gave me a shot of a non-narcotic painkiller to “take the edge off” because the ER had a two-hour wait. (!!!!)
Damn you, liberals! Or conservatives! Or whoever is to blame for the fact that half of Wake County was at the ER with me!
Once I was finally admitted, I got lots of drugs. And STILL IT HURT. I was so stoned on medication that my eyes were swimming — and yet my abdomen and back were still hurting! One CAT scan later, the doctor learned I was the proud owner of an 11mm kidney stone. I crowdsourced for a name, and chose Oliver Stone (Olly).
Because Olly is so huge and my pain wasn’t controllable, I was admitted by urology and given a Dilaudid PCA, which I could push every 8 minutes for a dose.
Unfortunately the pain and nausea got worse overnight. Plus the drugs were making me itchy. I took benadryl to stop itching, but just having a sip of water with it made me vomit. Then I got some Zofran. And repeat. It was a miserable night.
Also, I couldn’t pee. Olly (Oliver Stone) was blocking my urine flow.
Today I had a stent placed. This gives Olly more room so he doesn’t continuously scrape my ureter; he can even pass if I can pass a stone that big. The stent also allows me to pee with much more freedom!
You have no idea how easy it is to pee until it’s not.
In the next week or two, I’ll have a laser procedure to shake Olly up so he breaks into smaller, more passable pieces, and then I’ll pass him and his pieces.
Also, I’m going to start drinking 72oz of water per day. That’s the best remedy/treatment/prevention.
***HUUUUUUUUUGE thank yous to my awesome neighbor who watched the kids while I was at the hospital yesterday, my friend Emily who took Allegra and Sydney to a Valentine’s Day party today, and My Chemical Romance who left work early to see me, then took a day off while I was in the hospital. Sorry about the whole ‘meeting my deductible already’ thing, babe.****