Toddler Nursing (take one)

I say “take one” because I didn’t nurse the rest of them as long as I’ve nursed Buffalo — 21 months and counting. Because I used a lot of donor milk to supplement her for the first year, I wasn’t even sure that she would continue nursing into toddlerhood. But — ha! She’s gone through periods of time where she was more interested in the world than my boobs, but like a bad ex-boyfriend, she just keeps going back.

What I am trying — ineloquently, probably because I’m so sleep deprived — to say, is that she is still nursing and she’s a toddler. Which means that while we’re nursing she does the following:

1. Twiddles

2. Kicks

3. Sings

4. Pinches

5. Climbs

Or everything simultaneously. She also wants a snack at any time of the day or night, with my nipple available — pointing directly at her mouth — whenever she wants.

How self-centered!

 If this didn’t interrupt my sleep, I wouldn’t give a shit. But it does. She doesn’t want to sleep unless she’s attached to me — and not just my nipple. After a long day of… what is it I do? Oh yes, being a mom!… I’m ready not to be touched by sticky hands at 9pm. I want to be left the hell alone with the DVR and My Chemical Romance and my Kindle and a bath and People Magazine. I want to glance at my calendar and note what we’re doing the next day (today’s agenda: get knives sharpened at Farmer’s market, take everyone to gymnastics class, cook dinner) and go to sleep.

It’s like having a newborn again. I remember dreading bedtime, because I was so tired, and I just wanted to GO TO SLEEP, but I couldn’t just GO TO SLEEP because SHE WHO MUST BE COMFORTED had to be comforted to sleep first. By the time I got her comforted, I was keyed up and wired and unable to sleep, myself. Then she’d wake up and want to nurse (insert any of the girls’ names for SHE. Or even the boys.) Except this SHE isn’t a baby, she’s almost two!

/sleep-deprived-attached-mommy-rant

Advertisements

2 Responses

  1. My son is 12 months old and wakes to nurse every 3 hours still. He ALWAYS HAS. I was just wondering if your daughter *did* sleep well for a time and has started back to wanting to nurse frequently or if this is how she’s always been? I tried the paci in the middle of the night and this infuriates hiim! He is HUNGRY!!! I don’t care what doctors/mothers might say, I know hunger and that’s what it is! My older two children didn’t do this for this long. :/ I’m tired too…

Comments? Thoughts? Streams of Consciousness?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: