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I had a party. Then I moved on.

Last week or the week before, I felt so awful. I received an invitation

To Erika:

You are cordially invited! Please join me for a pity party celebrating a year of living in Raleigh by feeling very sad about the following: white people only, mosquitos and no friends (except for the mosquitos). We will be crying uncontrollably about the unfairness of life and praying to a god or goddess or really any deity that might listen, for an opportunity to GTFO.


I really was in a funk, and the mosquitos really did arrive in droves. But then I felt better, although still quite itchy.

Nothing really happened to change things. My Chemical Romance started working weird, long hours at work with the ever-present threat of being on third-shift hanging over his head for the next month. I actually don’t mind that, because I can do some errands during the day while he’s home.


I attended a book club in which we discussed 50 Shades of Grey and I drank a bunch of Sangria and ate gluten for the evening.

I quit the gym. No extra time.

I got my new, permanent work schedule, which is mostly evening and weekend hours.


One of my homeschool co-ops fell apart, but I’m not sad about it. Most of the families from last year decided not to come back, and it would have been a lot of work for me to teach a bunch of 5-7yos about Egypt anyway.

We’re still doing a bunch of other extracurriculars.

Maybe I’m happy that it’s finally cooled down enough to go outside? Maybe I’m realizing that although I wish it were different here, sociologically, I love my neighborhood — especially my proximity to Whole Foods and Trader Joe’s — and I enjoy walking with the kids to the grocery store, to the park or to the vet — not because I’m so into exercise, but because everything is so close to our house? Maybe I recognize that I am really lucky because while I need to work part-time, I actually like my retail job? Or that My Chemical Romance’s company is committed to staying made in the USA, and he won’t get outsourced?

Whatever it is, I feel better.


3 Responses

  1. Glad life is looking brighter. I love you

  2. I’m working through a similar funk. For the last 5 months we thought Jake’s job would be relocating us to England for a 2 year project. We were very excited for this adventure. It fell through a few weeks ago and it’s taking a long time to rewire my brain for staying here in NC. Hugs to you, glad you are feeling better.

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