Social Media Behaving Badly: The Spanking ECard

Oh, ECards. Those adorably snarktastic one-liners are like Twitter for… almost everyone. Without the confusing hashtags and RT and ampersands.

I post them on my personal Facebook sometimes.

Recently, Modern Parent Charlotte posted the following:

And although I’ve seen one like this before, it was on someone’s personal page — the wife of My Chemical Romance’s cousin — and not a parenting page.

And I un-friended the wife of My Chemical Romance’s cousin, because I just don’t advocate violence.

Yes. I’m one of those people who thinks spanking is violent. I have spanked in the past, and I just don’t think it’s effective punishment. I think it inspires fear and avoidance — rather than teaches anything. If you spank a child for doing XYZ, he won’t do it again. But probably not because he learned why you shouldn’t do XYZ — just because he doesn’t want to get a spanking.

Plus: it hurts, and it teaches that “might makes right.” To spank is to use an unfair advantage — your size — against a child. This is probably one reason why adults don’t spank each other. We generally don’t have the ability to use our size to intimidate. Not to mention that assault is illegal!

Issue two: Modern Parent said the following regarding the ECard, “It was too quiet here! I wanted to provoke conversation.”

But let’s be honest: what Modern Parent Charlotte wanted to do was fan the flames of the Mommy Wars. Whoever posted it on Modern Parent Charlotte’s page knew what she was doing. Spanking is an ISSUE for mommies. Like circumcision, breastfeeding and breastfeeding in public, natural birth vs c-section… these are all situations about which most mothers have a STRONG opinion and ARE NOT AFRAID TO USE IT.

And it worked. It totally worked! The pro-spank moms immediately called the anti-spank moms a bunch of humorless twits who are raising self-absorbed morons. The anti-spank moms bristled and talked about assault and treating children with respect. It was your typical flaming war between moms.

Sigh. I hate the Mommy Wars. Yes, I feel really strongly about having intact boys, nursing and my two natural homebirths. But I’ve also formula-fed, had an epidural and… pierced my oldest daughter’s ears. My mothering has evolved so freakin much in the last ten (!!!!) years. I think I’m a more effective parent at this point, but I couldn’t have gotten here without KINDNESS and EXAMPLES. And none of those mothers who taught me ever called me humorless.

Because that would be just fucking stupid!

Part three: The “Hey I Didn’t CREATE this ECard Therefore I Have Nothing to Do with This” defense, offered by Modern Parent Charlotte. You see, Modern Parent Charlotte doesn’t advocate spanking — they just put a pro-spanking ECard on their public page! But that doesn’t mean they ENDORSE spanking. Just because I “like” the I Ride Inside Anti-Mitt Romney page and post links to it on my Facebook page doesn’t mean I think you shouldn’t strap your dog to the roof of your car while you travel from one country to another! I didn’t create that page (tag line “Mitt is Mean. Woof.”) I’m just posting it!

Part Four, in which I am an asshole — gleefully. I still have Modern Parent Charlotte in my newsfeed. So that every time “they” post a question I can respond with, TRY SPANKING! Modern Parent Charlotte recommends it!


3 Responses

  1. You are hilarious! Dionna Ford at NPN made her own ecard thingy in response to the “I’m afraid of a world with no spanking” card; it said So…when I hit another child it is bad, but when you hit me it is spanking–I get it now! Said no child, ever.” It was pretty funny. I have more middle of the road opinions on spanking; I started a shitstorm on my own blog by writing about it once (my opinion; spanking is passe and unnecessary and stupid, but not damaging per se: feel free to disagree, I simply was giving full disclosure lol), which means that BOTH ecards seem kind of funny to me… Like, I can see the humor in both sides.
    I love your deconstruction of Modern Parent Charlotte’s defense; if you post it, you endorse it, dude. =P

  2. Exactly who do they think is running the world today and why is it not scary now? Yes, i’m sure insulting people and their kids is going to improve things drastically :/

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