I consider myself lucky that my BFF is a midwife and my husband is a scientist because I have no idea how bodies function. Take thyroids, for instance — or maybe it’s just thyroid, no plural — mine was wacky, then not wacky, then really wacky twice, then totally normal.
I have no explanation for it. Six months ago my TSH was high, which actually means thyroid function is low. On a repeat blood test, it was normal. Recently I had another blood draw — the psychiatrist I saw suggested that maybe my depression was related to anemia or low thyroid — and once again it was that high-that-means-low on the test.
I did some research and learned the following: thyroids are important; thyroids are small; 10% of women take thyroid medication; diet changes can help; diet changes do nothing; the medication has side effects; the medication is really helpful; you have to take the medication for life; take the medication; don’t take the medication; doctors don’t know what they’re talking about when it comes to thyroid.
The last part kind of made me mad; my cousin just left for medical school and he’s got the smart genes, dammit!
Meanwhile, all the thyroid drama ended when the doctor tested me again — I’d been gluten-free for a week at that time — and my thyroid was completely normal.
What does this mean? I haven’t a clue. All I know is that my body wants me to pay my 20% coinsurance every week, only to be told I’m FINE.
The labs also showed iron deficient anemia. I have this thalassemia trait — understanding it makes even less sense to me than the whole thyroid thing — and the doctor wants me to give a poo sample to prove I’m not bleeding from my ass. Which, I still am, from the surgery with Dr. Assropractor. But not enough to cause anemia!
I keep insisting that if I were having blood poo, I WOULD KNOW IT. He insists I’d be blissfully ignorant; calling it occult blood. Oh my gawd, this is totally how zombies are made, isn’t it?
But before we get to the zombie-poo debate, I need iron infusions to get my ferritin and hemoglobin and hematocrit up to normal. I’m seeing a hematologist/oncologist today and hope to start infusions soon.