It’s 7:00AM and I’m Awake

This is not typical for me. In fact, I don’t know why I got up and out of bed so early except that I like to be unpredictable — it keeps my family on their toes.

I brought the baby downstairs at 7:00AM and immediately My Chemical Romance asked what was wrong. I told him my boyfriend is coming over at 7:30, so I needed to get ready.

The Informant and My Masterpiece got up and yelled HI downstairs to daddy. Then they must have gone into our room where I’m usually lying with my eyes squeezed determinedly shut, trying to eke out another 20 minutes of sleep while Cousin It plays on my iPad — I’ve found that the iPad is safer than letting her play with my phone and calling everyone I know at 7:00AM (or really, just Miss Manners or Mary F. Poppins. She loves to call them.)**** Then The Informant cried, “Dad?!?!? Mom’s not here!!!!”

Downstairs, I fed a banana to Cousin It. My Chemical Romance beamed and said, “Look at her. She’s so cheerful in the morning.”

He was not talking about me.

I think the difference is that every day the baby wakes up to a world that is full of wonder and promise. And when the wonder and promise is that of  WHEN I’m going to change a possibly explosive diaper and how many chapters we’ll get through in Life of Fred and how long I’ll be on hold when I call our insurance company to get an explanation of benefits from my most recent visit to the Assropractor, I just don’t get to her level of excitement. Seriously, this kid goes nuts when she sees a BALLOON; my jaded adult-ness just can’t compete with that.

What I can get excited about this morning is making chicken salad. Because this is what I do: I find a food I love, I make it (badly) and then I recreate it until I get it right. As of right now I have a horribly-prepared chicken salad in my fridge that I’m probably going to toss because it tastes completely wrong. (And yet I tried to fix it. I actually pulled it apart, re-chopped the celery and grapes, added some more spices and it STILL tastes bad. The dog will probably enjoy it.)

Chicken Salad Sandwich by Lara604 (Flickr)

Does anyone else do this? I can’t the only one who is lured out of bed in the morning by the promise of Duke’s Mayonaise and some Tarragon spice. And finely chopped celery!

****Yes of course my phone has a passcode on it. If I don’t unlock it, she ends up locking me out for progressively longer each time. So I unlock it and put it on airplane mode. Also, I have the phone icon — and text icon — buried in a folder. SHE FINDS IT. Then she starts dialing people, and the iPhone, like an idiot, asks if she wants to turn it off airplane mode so she can call people. She touches OKAY and starts calling Mary F. Poppins. Who lives on the West Coast, in the Pacific Time Zone. At 7:00AM EST.***

Sorry, MFP. You’re sleeping and I’m totally envious.


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