Things I’m Not Proud Of

Of course, there are MANY things, but here’s just a few:

1. I have tried and failed — on several occasions — to read The Thirteenth Tale by Diane Setterfield. I’ve heard it’s GREAT. It’s about TWINS. I have twins. One of my book reading twins, Jill — who also has twins — has raved about it. And yet, I have never been able to finish it. It’s almost… boring.


2. Same with Cutting for Stone by Abraham Verghese. Except now I feel morally obligated to read it because at book club last week, Bitter Divorcee actually SNORTED when I said I couldn’t get into a book that was so dense. She may have even snarked to the woman next to her about how SHE was not afraid to read a book without a lot of big words. For the record, BD: I’m on your ex-husband’s side.

3. I use paper towels with reckless abandon.


In my defense, I have tried many times to end my paper towel dependence. I tried using those yellow microfiber things from Costco. The problem is that I accidentally put them in the dryer, which rendered their drying ability moot. Plus they picked up every particle of dust, lint, dog hair, dirt and human hair in my house. And we have a lot. I found that more distasteful, actually, than wasting paper towels (which, for the record, I do find distasteful) so I’ve continued using them.

Hey, at least I use cloth diapers! Even when I didn’t have to, even when I have about 23523 loads of laundry per week, I still use cloth diapers!


4. All my photographs of Animal and Mineral from when they were babies are “couple pictures.” For example:

Mineral and Animal, about 3 months old.

Mineral and Animal, 6 months old.

And so on. We finally hung up the kids’ professional photographs (which I do at 3m, 6m, 9m and 1yo) and I totally wish I’d done individual photos of Animal and Mineral. But no. I only did twin-y shots. Sorry, guys.


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