Homeschooling: I’m Teaching Life Lessons, Here!

For Christmas, Animal, Mineral and My Masterpiece went to Florida to visit my parents. The Informant stayed here because her bff lives right next door and they played all week. Porcelain stayed here because my boobs stayed here.

When My Masterpiece returned, I thought, When did you get so BIG? She has always been my baby, even when I had another baby, but now that she’s getting older and more curious I think it’s time to start teaching her.

Yeah, I said it: teaching her. Prior to this, I have not actually sat down and taught her much. She just hangs around and pretends to read books and writes in a preschool workbook I got at Costco.

I’m THAT homeschooling mom, the one who doesn’t do a lot of formal lessons. I’m probably reacting to all the formal lessons I received in school, the same lessons that help me in absolutely no way as an adult. (Except for the typing class that my mother had to force me to take. Thanks, mom! I’m literally using that information right this very second!)

Things I did not learn in 13 years of public school, followed by 4 years at university:

  • How to cook. Or even follow a recipe.
  • How to do laundry.
  • How to read a map.
  • How to change a tire or change my car’s oil
  • How to plunge a toilet, or snake a sink.

There are other things I didn’t learn, like how to be a good friend and how to take care of living things like a plant or a dog — or how to take care of newborn twins as a single mom. Those things I learned on my own, either through trial and error or because I wanted to learn them.

Things I did learn in school:

  • How to read
  • How to write (quantity, if not quality, at first; followed by BOTH at university)
  • A LOT of basic algebra that I can do in my head.

My tendency now is to go the opposite direction of my own schooling, and really push the kids to learn life skills — but My Chemical Romance points out that it’s often at the expense of teaching the three R’s (readin’ ‘riting and ‘rithmetic) which he feels are more important. Touche. I get that — once they can do the 3 Rs, the world really opens up — but they also need to know that before cooking boneless, skinless chicken breasts, you absolutely must marinate overnight, preferably in homemade Italian dressing!



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