Porcelain: No Longer Adorable

So, this happened:

And yet, not a single egg in the dog food! Well done.

This was a three-step process of decision making: (1) to cook eggs and bacon for dinner (2) to put Porcelain in the Learning Tower but (3) not to move her to the exact center of the room, where her octopus-like arms inflict the least amount of damage.

"Who, me? What did I do? I'm just standing here benignly, watching you cook."

Instead, I, veteran mother of five children who have never broken a bone — we just recently had our first experience with stitches! First experience! After nine years of parenting! Including twin boys! — put her right by the countertop, with the carton of eggs nearby.

Well, the floor did need to be mopped.

This is my life, in an eggshell. Including My Masterpiece, in the background, smiling adorably.

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5 Responses

  1. HAhahahahahaaaa! I love that she missed the dog food. =) Broken eggs are better than broken bones! Very very funny… And where did you find that learning tower? I jimmied up something similar the other day for Amarys with our kitchen chairs and she fell right off it, WHAM onto the floor while I was trying to get pictures for my blog. Facepalm. That dohicky you have would be awesome!!!

    • It’s the best kid invention EVER. When I first heard about them I thought, “What is this crap — it’s just a glorified stepstool!” Joke’s on me because it’s really awesome. My older kids use it to put away dishes, my younger kids use it to “help” cook. I can put Porcelain in it when I’m putting groceries away and she can watch me and not try to climb into the fridge. It’s great. I got mine on Craigslist for $50; they retail for about $200. They take up a lot of space but it’s worth it!

  2. p.s. best title ever…

  3. But she looks so cute wreaking havoc upon your kitchen 😉

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