The Pros and Cons of European Friends

Two of my Jugs are European. Here are there pros and cons of being friends with them:


Europeans are ridiculously cool and chic and better than Americans and they have free health care and college. That two Europeans have befriended me makes me ridiculously cool and chic and better than all the other Americans who they haven’t befriended. Also, I have health care and I went to college.


They’re kind of stupid about American words like “bathing suit” and “effusive” and “surreptitious” and playing American games like dominoes. When playing Scrabble-like games, they try to sneak in words like “ain,” and will argue vociferously (Mary F. Poppins: that means “vehemently”) that a 17th century Celtic dialect version of a word should count, dammit.


They have a world-view as opposed to just a narrow-minded “how does this affect ME” point of view. They often speak multiple languages. They are very kind to people and socially conscious.


They complain about the stereotypes Americans have about Europeans (like, that they’re cool and chic?) and claim not to live up to them. For the record, both Euro-Jugs have nice teeth.


Trip to a water park and no time to groom yourself? NO PROBLEM, you’ll fit right in.


When you mention how awesome and amazing Duke’s Mayonaise is, they will exchange an eye-roll of European superiority — apparently homemade mayo is all the rage over there — and they think that Hershey’s chocolate tastes bitter.


2 Responses

  1. Ah, Cincodemommy you always make me laugh so hard. I’ve been reading your posts on my phone lately, of all places, so I haven’t left many comments recently, but I am still a devoted reader. I heart your blog.


    Love the mayonnaise bit.

    Being Canadian, I have free health care too. Not so free when it comes tax time, but it all evens out in the wash….

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