One chubby breastmilk only baby: CHECK!

Porcelain is gaining weight and I am so relieved. Her thighs are becoming delicious plump rolls of squishy goodness. I’m happy about that.

She takes 12-16oz of donor milk per day, either by person or by bottle. (Yeah, I gave up on that SNS bullshit because it’s a crock. Either that or I’m a sucktastic mom, but if I am a sucktastic mom because I don’t use a SNS, I’m totally cool with that!) I’m taking enough domperidone to make an elephant lactate — and it helps.

At first I was reticent to take domperidone because the last time I took it, I got headaches. Now I get headaches and tingling in my fingers. But what’s a few neurological symptoms indicating that I’m having a stroke — hey, I’ve got some breastmilk!

The list of women who have nursed her stands at eight: Nice-Nice, Mary F. Poppins, Lady Beaver of the Syllables, Happy Mathlete, two friends from La Leche League, an old friend who lives one county away and was willing to let me come over when I was 40 minutes from home with a hungry baby and dry boobs, and my wonderful fellow twin mama — times two! — Heather from It’s Twinsanity. Porcelain nurses best with Nice-Nice and MFP because they do it so regularly; Heather was the most natural for a first-time cross-nurser — with Porcelain; she has cross-nursed other babies — as we were at the zoo and she just strapped Porcelain into a carrier and latched her on while I pushed Heather’s quad stroller, aka The Beast, and kept track of our combined 12 children at a crowded zoo. (Yes, it’s the Heather with two sets of twins and two older children who likes to drive cross-country by herself with all the kids. The Heather.)

I go back and forth between feeling elated that Porcelain is gaining weight to feeling kind of sucky that I don’t make all of her milk and that she loves bottles — to feeling worse because, duh, I do not ever want to strap on that stupid fucking SNS again, and she’s still breastmilk-only, so why should I feel bad about anything? Clearly I’m a complicated woman.

However, someone told me that nursing is 99% intention and I have 113% intention so I’m ahead of the game in that aspect. I asked who gave her such words of wisdom; it was me, about a year ago. She is a former doula client who had some breastfeeding challenges when her baby was first born. When I went to her house for a postpartum visit she was pumping and crying, and I told her it was 99% intention and she would get through it. A year later she is still nursing — and now she pumps for me.

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8 Responses

  1. Wow, Erika. That last paragraph was sooooo good. Love it. I’m glad you have a fat, happy, breastmilk-only babe–even though you’re feeling “complicated” (P.S. Uhm, what woman isn’t?!?!) You rock Mama!

  2. I might need a crazy nickname + review of my performance.
    My first time too and I was a bit nervous 😉

    Glad to hear everything is looking up!
    That SNS looks scary – glad you’re not worrying about that thing.

  3. 1200 ways to awesome, all the way around!

  4. love your descriptive hatred of the SNS! As a lactation consultant/maternity nurse I have had many women hate that contraption. That being said, it works very well for some mom/baby pairs. Seems to work better for short term and very young babies. I’ve had better luck with the homemade jobbies than medelas offical SNS. Your persistance and determination to provide breast milk for your daughter is amazing.Love hearing that wetnursing is alive and well:)
    Your bloggings inspire me as well as make me laugh REALLY hard!

  5. […] One chubby breastmilk only baby: CHECK! « Cinco de MommyOne chubby breastmilk only baby: CHECK! 15 May. Porcelain is gaining weight and I am so relieved. Her thighs are becoming delicious plump rolls of squishy … […]

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