Using a Supplemental Nursing System: The Pinnacle of Evil is a SNS

My experience with a Supplemental Nursing System goes as follows. I typically give Porcelain of bottle of expressed breastmilk (from Happy Mathlete or Mary F. Poppins) in the late afternoon/ early evening, so I figured it was a good time to try.

For those out of the breastfeeding loop, a SNS is basically a bottle but instead of a nipple, it has small tubes that I tape to my breasts with the opening at my nipple so that my breasts are stimulated to produce while she nurses and gets the expressed breast milk.

4:00PM: Heat breastmilk so that it’s warm.

4:02PM: Put milk in SNS bottle, tape tube to breasts.

4:03PM: Accidentally rip tubes off breasts. Milk begins dripping out of tubes.

4:04PM: Re-tape tubes.

4:05PM: Accidentally rip tubes off breasts. Milk begins dripping out of tubes.

4:06PM: Re-tape tubes.

4:08PM: Gather Porcelain in my favorite nursing chair and get us settled in comfortably for a long successful nursing session.

4:10PM: Porcelain latches on. She nurses blissfully and the SNS works perfectly! She’s getting the expressed breastmilk AND stimulating me! It’s awes–

4:11PM: Porcelain accidentally rips tube off breasts. Milk begins dripping out of tubes.

4:12PM: Porcelain latches on. She nurses blissfully and the SNS works perfectly! She’s getting the expressed breastmilk AND stimulating me! It’s awes–

4:13PM: Porcelain accidentally rips tube off breasts. Milk begins dripping out of tubes.

4:14PM: I never noticed how warm it is today. I have my shirt off and Porcelain against my chest. I’m sweating. The spilled breastmilk is sticky. My favorite nursing chair is a leather Laz-y-boy. This is uncomfortable.

4:15PM: Porcelain alternates latching on and off, and crying. Milk is everywhere. I’m trying to hold the bottle under my chin. I can’t see the baby between the angle my head is at and my glasses. I am extremely frustrated.

4:17PM: I throw SNS across the room and attempt to give Porcelain the breastmilk out of a bottle. She looks at me like, are you fucking kidding me and cries.

4:20PM: My Chemical Romance returns home from work and asks me if I’m crying over spilled milk. Hilarious.

 

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3 Responses

  1. Aw, hang in there! I used one forever, and it gets better. Eventually you won’t have to use the tape and you can just stick the tubes into her mouth. It is a pain, though, but good for you!

  2. […] Problem number two is her teeth. She wants to chew on everything. If it wasn’t for the fact that my nipples are slower-flowing than the nipples on the bottles of donor milk, she might not get my breasts confused with a teething toy. Particularly righty, which currently has a scab from her chomping on me. I probably could have solved this problem long ago by using a SNS to nurse her, but say it with me, “The Pinnacle of Evil is a SNS.” […]

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