I am a mom of five kids: Hear me snore!

I am tired. I am so tired. Here’s the things I have mindlessly done while tired — this is just a recent list:

1. Watched multiple YouTube videos of Michelle Phan.

I am unclear if it is porn or make up lessons. Possibly both.

2. Brushed my teeth with hand soap.

Please do not wash your kids mouths out with soap when they say FUCKER. (Not that any of my children has said FUCKER recently, Animal. And not that I used hand soap — I used hot sauce, because Animal loves it. Soon My Chemical Romance will have a spicy-hot dinner buddy.)

3. Ate bad grapes.

They were squishy but not quite raisins yet.

4. Lay in bed, listening to My Chemical Romance snore, and wondered how the hell he got to fall sleep immediately when I was still tossing and turning over tomorrow’s dinner plans.

I mean, seriously. He wasn’t the one who was going to be up every couple hours nursing!

5. Watched Cee-Lo’s “Fuck You” in American Sign Language on YouTube.

I think it’s time to encompass ASL into my homeschooling lessons! I am embarrassed to admit that I also watched Miley’s “Party in the USA.”

6. Noted that exhaustion makes one inert.

Like, I’ll have three kids napping, and two having quiet time, and I sit down in front of the computer to check my email and end up spending an hour on YouTube. Or sitting in front of the TV watching Intervention or some other such awful reality show.

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