The Evil Neighborhood King aka The Busybody Queen

My neighborhood has a king. At least that’s what he calls himself. I call him a busybody queen. I live on a cul-de-sac and he lives at the end of the street, right on the corner. He calls animal control regularly to complain about loud neighborhood dogs. Our city does not have a specified amount of time that dogs can bark, so Animal Control  drives out and gives some paperwork on “nuisance barking” and everyone’s time is wasted.

Yesterday he called the police because I let The Informant walk My Masterpiece to a friend’s house. He told The Informant and My Masterpiece that they are too young to walk by themselves — that they have to be fourteen to walk alone and the police would prove it.

I told him to go ahead and call the police.

An officer came out, and I’ll spare the details except to say that he told me that I could be reported to Child  Protective Services — although he could not tell me a specific law against  kids walking around residential community neighborhoods by themselves. Apparently Animal and Mineral are old enough — but not old enough to accompany The Informant and My Masterpiece anywhere.

After I talked to the officer, I went and talked to the parents of the children with whom my kids play the most (and to whose houses they walk). They know all about the busybody queen  — he’s called the police on all of them for various made-up broken laws. I explained that starting now, I would have to walk The Informant and My Masterpiece to their houses and that they could call me to walk them back home. We exchanged names and last names and phone numbers.

I predict that this will be a huge pain in the ass for My Chemical Romance and me.

We told the kids the new rule, and I have been quizzing them about it but I still have a feeling that I’ll walk The Informant and My Masterpiece to a friend’s house — but then they’ll forget that I also have to walk them home and they’ll walk home by themselves, and the busybody queen will call the police.

However, maybe this could be a good thing. I don’t know any of the parents well — although I do know their kids! — and maybe now we’ll become friendlier, and maybe even become *friends.*

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One Response

  1. Yes. All of you become friends. And then plot to get Queeny out of your neighborhood (by STRICTLY legal means, mind you…) 😉

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