Thank you, Hoarding: Buried Alive

For totally  making me want to throw away/craigslist/freecycle/ebay/goodwill/burn all of my possessions that I’m not using right this very second. Which includes three children and a dog, along with pants.

I went to the hospital recently to get some IV fluids, and while there I watched four straight episodes of Hoarding/Hoarders/FURRRRR-EEEEEAKS With Serious Mental Disorders Who Are Being Exploited For TV And Are Probably Spending The $5,000 They Make On Buying More Trash No Really I Mean Actual Trash.

And then my parents came to visit and bought the kids new winter clothes — although I am not certain I believe it will EVER get below 90* here — and that reminds me that I have to purge last year’s winter clothes, along with this year’s summer clothes, and it’s always a hassle.

Particularly when I’m pregnant and am probably having either a boy or a girl and don’t know what I should or shouldn’t keep.

Also, I recently went through the garage and found My Chemical Romance’s ORIGINAL birth certificate and social security card in one of eleventy-zillion boxes that he SWEARS he has gone through with a fine-toothed comb (I found a few of those too) and knows exactly where everything is.

Me: “Where’s your social security card?”

MCR: “I know where it is.”

Me (eyes narrow): “Where?”

MCR: “In the ‘important paperwork’ folder. Along with your Publishers Clearinghouse Award for 10 million dollars.”

Me: “Ha. Ha. Ha. Har de har. No, it’s not with my money. It was–” dramatic pause to look him up and down “– in the garage. In a box. With some wires and shit.”

I was raised in the midwest, where basements are used for storing boxes full of wires and social security cards and shit, and you park your car in the garage to avoid having to scrape the snow/ice off it in the morning. My Chemical Romance is 100% Southern California, so he thinks the garage is for storing boxes full of wires and social security cards and shit, and you park on the street.

God help him if we ever move to a climate where it actually snows regularly.

And now I have to go purge.


2 Responses

  1. Nathan and I still haven’t done our 2009 taxes. Why? Because we’re behind on our filing. Why? Because our file cabinet got too full. Why? Because I’ve been a paperwork hoarder my whole adult life and we don’t have a garage or a basement.

    I say all this to let you know that we are in the process of purging our files to make room for the newer stuff. But before we began that project, I found a Dave Ramsey (money guru guy) article about important paperwork; what to keep and for how long. I copied and pasted the details into a Word doc. Let me know if you’re at all interested in it, and I’ll email you the doc. Super helpful! Our remaining files are a very small fraction of what they used to be, hallelujah!

    Love & miss you all!

  2. In Virginia we definitely keep our junk in our basement – we need the garage to park the car!

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